


Wingmen

by Fudgyokra



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The Batman (Cartoon)
Genre: Bat Family, Batfamily Feels, Cute, Cute Kids, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 02:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10688295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fudgyokra/pseuds/Fudgyokra
Summary: Along with Batgirl and Robin, Batman must stop Catwoman's latest larsony attempt.





	Wingmen

**Author's Note:**

> Just wanted to write a quick, cute little thing about Batdad, lol. Featuring Selina Kyle because she's my fave.

"What is this? Take your kids to work day?" Catwoman asked, seconds ahead of her graceful descent from the balcony. When she landed on all fours before him, Bruce ignored the narrow-eyed looks of judgement being cast from Barbara and Dick and maintained an icy expression.

"I didn't come here for small talk, Catwoman," he told her. "I came for _that_." Presently, he pointed at the shiny golden sculpture she held in her hands, clutched tightly against her bodysuit.

"You're no fun," she pouted, begrudging the sculpture to him by thrusting it at his chest. Unfazed, he accepted it and handed it off to Barbara.

"How come she gets to hold it?" Dick asked, his voice accusatory.

"Because I'm the responsible one," Barbara replied coolly, holding the artifact up in her palm and displaying it in the milky light of the moon. With her free hand, she flicked Dick in the arm. "Maybe if you didn't destroy everything you touch—"

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, Miss Broke-An-Heirloom-Vase!" Dick swiped for the statue, and Barbara flattened her palm against his forehead to hold him at bay.

"You two," Bruce snapped, "quit squabbling."

"They're so precious," Catwoman purred, holding her finger to her lips in amusement. "How old are they?"

When Bruce remained silent, Barbara and Dick forwent their feud and squinted at him. "You have no idea, do you?" the latter asked.

"Batgirl is…twelve?" he guessed, watching as Barbara smirked.

"Thirteen," she corrected, as though this were a particularly large discrepancy. "And _you_ ," she began, gesturing toward Dick, "must be six."

"I am not six!" Dick complained, swiping unsuccessfully at her hands again. While the two of them re-engaged their previous fight, Catwoman's eyes crinkled in a genuine smile of amusement, and, despite himself, Bruce smiled back.

"They're a handful sometimes," he admitted, reassembling his expression into its typical neutrality. "But they're all I've got."

"Sweetheart," Catwoman cooed, approaching him with coquettish interest and walking her fingers up his chest. "Don't forget about little ol' me."

Barbara and Dick were shocked into silence at the low laugh Bruce gave in response. They exchanged horrified glances, then watched as Bruce ducked in closer to the woman, bringing their faces suspiciously close. He said something to her that they didn't hear, but something about the situation prompted impish smiles to curl their lips.

"Uh-oh, should I start referring to her as Mommy-In-Law?" Barbara teased, grinning when Dick snickered and Bruce turned to regard her with annoyance.

"See you tomorrow, cutie," Catwoman said, offering Bruce a wink. "And don't be late." With that, she leapt into the shadows, disappearing from their jointed line of vision in the space between heartbeats.

Bruce looked down at them. Barbara and Dick looked back. They held stares for a moment before, finally, Bruce smiled. "Looks like you two make pretty good wingmen."

"Funny," Barbara said in a manner that suggested she did not actually find it funny. "If only we made good sidekicks, too."

"You're the sidekick," Dick said. With a proud stride, he walked to the end of the alley and poked his thumb toward his chest. " _I'm_ more of an accomplice."

"They're the same thing, nimrod," Barbara said, lifting her foot to trip him as she passed by. Dick hopped up, his cheek smudged with dirt, and sprung at her with full force until they were both on the ground, grappling for the night's trophy.

Without ceremony, Bruce scooped it up from between them and began walking down the sidewalk. "Come on, you two," he said, voice lighter and less moody than usual. "I've got a little date planning to do."

"Never thought I'd hear the Batman say _that_ ," Dick said, crossing his arms and watching with a sour expression as Barbara rose from the ground.

"I don't think that was the Batman," she said, prompting them to look in the direction of Bruce's retreating form. "If you know what I mean."

Dick made a face, then began following the man again, Barbara at his side. "Gross," he told her.

"You're right," she agreed.


End file.
